I have a new dentist, Dr. Hall. I already prefer him to my previous dentist, the one who called me Bob two times in a row. The first time I didn't know if he was talking to me. The second time, as he started to get annoyed that I didn't reply, I got annoyed. I'm a girl; look up from your chart.

The hygienist and I had a nice little chat, but once the instruments were in my mouth, that of course ceased most talking. The t.v. in the ceiling taunted me, I didn't want to watch the Disney channels, but I couldn't find anything enticing. Until ... sweet discovery channel popped up.
I watched the tail end of "King of the Nile: Hippo," and started a special on crocodiles. I've watched a lot of shows on crocodiles, I'm obsessed with my fear of them. I saw the worst footage ever while I lay with my mouth stretched open. My eyes got wider and wider as I watched a crocodile clench on to the back of a zebra's head, hold it for a minute, then pull her backwards (the zebra was forced into a back flip basically), and drown her. I blinked and realized that I should focus; I had been clenching my mouth. The poor hygienist was probably wondering why the heck I wasn't keeping my mouth open.
When the bubbly dentist came in, he asked if I was watching crocodiles or alligators, and I confessed that it was crocodiles, but that I probably shouldn't be because I was getting too into it. The two had a good laugh, then simultaneously we all looked up at the screen just in time to catch crocodile sex. The male's leg was shaking and everything.

I have three cavities, sigh, two of which are "flossing cavities." When asked about my flossing habits, I honestly said that I'm not the best, and the doctor tilted his head back and laughed. "Me either," ha ha ha, "you and me both." Couldn't help but shrug my shoulders to this reaction. It wasn't that witty, I was being honest. He asked what my plans were later, and I said a barbecue. "Family?" as he put his face in front of mine.
"Friends," I answered as I played with my bib that I'd spit on previously. (Water shot out of my mouth when the hygienist told me to close it ... that happened twice actually.)
Now I'm curious. Just a friendly dentist? He wasn't wearing a wedding ring ...

I stopped at my parents' and gave everyone the good news about my three cavities. My mom reminded me of how long I went without having any cavities. Emily keeps exposing these gem stories, and I want to shake her for not telling us as soon as they happen. She said that the dentist held on to her shoulder, and stated, "I assume you've never had braces." She has, so our family erupted in laughter. Zach reminded us that none of this compares to the time when Andrea was handed a bag with, "And here's your prescription for your bad breath."