Wednesday: I've Gone Crazy

• While my chili was warming up in the microwave, I ran upstairs to check my box. I found a huge stack of bright blue handouts intended for my TA kids. Oh no! I looked at the directions, and I was supposed to hand them out to my kids on Oct. 22 so that they could attend the Oct. 24 meeting. "Just great," I'm muttering to myself. I totally didn't hand them out, but this is not my fault. I tutor every Wednesday morning, so I checked my box at 7:00 A.M. It's not my fault that the handouts were put in afterwards. So I was standing over the garbage, ready to toss the handouts in ... Duh! Oct. 22 is next week. I am so glad that I didn't vent to one of the many teachers in the room. I am dumb.

• Here's a breakdown of the next events: (Forgive the JayDee speech.)

1. Chili exploded in microwave. It popped its top and scared me.

2. Chili wasn't done cooking, so when I tried to coax it back in, it overflowed. (Count with me, that's two times I scrubbed the already gross microwave.)

3. Chili jumped out of my hands as I was about to open the math office door.

4. Chili so messy. It sprayed itself all over the wall, under the door, and all over the carpet.

5. Me say swear.

6. Me notice that chili is covering my pants!

7. Me say yet another swear.

8. Tried to clean it up, it won't let me.

9. My entire lunch break has been foiled, my pants are disgusting ...

10. Brilliant! I'll blaze to my parent's home and borrow some of Em's pants.

11. I literally run, am I even going to make it?

12. The ONLY pants I can even FIND are her bright skin-tight yellow ones.

13. Remember the day I spilled chili all over myself, all over the floor, and my consequence was to wear bright yellow pants to the last half of school?

• Ivan cheered me up during 5th period. I have a flourescent light that insists in flashing every once in awhile. Well, it rests right above Ivan, and it did its thing. Ivan stood up, jammed his fingers into his ears, and marched to the door, and waited.

"Ivan? What are you doing?" I am so confused.

"The fire drill!" and he said this with some attitude like we were all so stupid.

We laughed and laughed, and I could not get my kids to settle because I'd giggle every time I tried to tell them to get back to work. Poor Ivan, he's so trained. Yes, a light flashes before the fire alarm goes off, but there's no way his little fingers would keep out the blaring beeps.