Some great quotes from school today:

1) "I won't be teaching today, I have a massive headache and might pass out at any second. Take this worksheet and finish it, but don't ask questions please." (Said to a child as he tried to walk into class. I watched dumbfounded.)

2) "Why don't you cry like other teachers cry?" (I was quizzed as I walked kids back from the gully after I helped them plant peas. I assured them it's because I don't have feelings.)

3) After planting our seeds, I was herding the cats (children), when I stumbled on a wonderful situation. "A worm! Let's put him in the water! No, no, he won't drown Ms. Bateman, he's the new Michael Phelps! Swim Michael, swim! No, don't dig in the rocks, swim!"

4) While observing another teacher, she directed this at a student, "Take your stuff and shit over there in the corner ... sit over there in the corner."