I have a new dentist, Dr. Hall. I already prefer him to my previous dentist, the one who called me Bob two times in a row. The first time I didn't know if he was talking to me. The second time, as he started to get annoyed that I didn't reply, I got annoyed. I'm a girl; look up from your chart.

The hygienist and I had a nice little chat, but once the instruments were in my mouth, that of course ceased most talking. The t.v. in the ceiling taunted me, I didn't want to watch the Disney channels, but I couldn't find anything enticing. Until ... sweet discovery channel popped up.
I watched the tail end of "King of the Nile: Hippo," and started a special on crocodiles. I've watched a lot of shows on crocodiles, I'm obsessed with my fear of them. I saw the worst footage ever while I lay with my mouth stretched open. My eyes got wider and wider as I watched a crocodile clench on to the back of a zebra's head, hold it for a minute, then pull her backwards (the zebra was forced into a back flip basically), and drown her. I blinked and realized that I should focus; I had been clenching my mouth. The poor hygienist was probably wondering why the heck I wasn't keeping my mouth open.
When the bubbly dentist came in, he asked if I was watching crocodiles or alligators, and I confessed that it was crocodiles, but that I probably shouldn't be because I was getting too into it. The two had a good laugh, then simultaneously we all looked up at the screen just in time to catch crocodile sex. The male's leg was shaking and everything.

I have three cavities, sigh, two of which are "flossing cavities." When asked about my flossing habits, I honestly said that I'm not the best, and the doctor tilted his head back and laughed. "Me either," ha ha ha, "you and me both." Couldn't help but shrug my shoulders to this reaction. It wasn't that witty, I was being honest. He asked what my plans were later, and I said a barbecue. "Family?" as he put his face in front of mine.
"Friends," I answered as I played with my bib that I'd spit on previously. (Water shot out of my mouth when the hygienist told me to close it ... that happened twice actually.)
Now I'm curious. Just a friendly dentist? He wasn't wearing a wedding ring ...

I stopped at my parents' and gave everyone the good news about my three cavities. My mom reminded me of how long I went without having any cavities. Emily keeps exposing these gem stories, and I want to shake her for not telling us as soon as they happen. She said that the dentist held on to her shoulder, and stated, "I assume you've never had braces." She has, so our family erupted in laughter. Zach reminded us that none of this compares to the time when Andrea was handed a bag with, "And here's your prescription for your bad breath."

I was dragged by my elbows to Hairspray last night. I'll admit without shame that I was eventually sitting straight up with my hands clasped in front of me, absolutely giddy, constantly checking with those around me to see if they were as excited as I was. I laughed so hard; I loved every inch of it up and down.

I can't help but fall asleep during movies. I've trained my body to know that when the lights go out, it's time to sleep. I fight it, but sleep always wins, regardless of the quality of the film. No sleeping during Hairspray; it's probably the first film in at least two years. You can take that to the reviews.

I heart Link. He winked, and I was done.

Me and my Ezra surviving wedding number two.

My cousin, Logan, has been dutifully sending us e-mails pumped full of old photos.

Big sigh, I love these two of my Grandma and Grandpa.

LuJean Carver

and

Norman Elmer Carver

You’re not worth it babe, the trouble you bring, the noise you keep, and you don’t even care.
I'm so sick of you babe.
Nights wasted, I’m through faking.
You don’t turn me on, you don’t do anything at all.
Baby, I can’t stand the sight of your face.
Baby, I don’t even wanna hear your name.
Don’t know what I saw, but I ain't seeing it now.
Woke up this morning bitterness in my mouth.
Guess I fell too fast, guess I learned my lesson.
So much for true love,
I’ll take the chivas instead.
I'll take the shivers instead.
You're too high maintenance, babe.
All the time you spent trying to fit in, and no one even cares.
It’s so ridiculous babe, watching you turn as I burn.
It’s like I’m not even there.
Baby, don’t you try and hold my hand.
Maybe, you should keep your eyes on your new girlfriend.
Don’t know what I saw, but I ain't seeing it now.
Woke up this morning bitterness in my mouth.
Guess I fell too fast, guess I learned my lesson.
So much for true love,
I’ll take the Chivas instead.
Oh I'll take the Chivas instead, over your bed.
It wasn’t even good, trust me.
I must have been so, so, so, so lonely.
You...are...crap.
You should keep your eyes on your new little brat.
It’s hard not to look I know.
I’m amazed as you.
I love you, Chivas.

As I'm talking, my words slip to the floor,
and they crawl through your legs
and slide under the back door.
Rendering me freakish and dazed.
Well here I am.
Don't know how to say this.
Only thing I know is awkward silence.
Your eyelids close when you're around me
to shut me out.
So I'll go walking in the streets 'til my heels bleed,
and I'll sing out my song case the birds wish to sing along.
And I'll dig a tunnel to the center of the universe.
Well here I am.
Don't know how to say this.
Only thing I know is awkward silence.
Your eyelids close when you're around me
to shut me out.
I'll make my way across the frozen sea,
beyond the blank horizon,
where I can forget you and me
and get a decent night's sleep.
Well here I am.
Don't know how to say this.
Only thing I know is awkward silence.
Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out.
To shut me out.

You can spite me in your own sane ways.
You can tear me down.
Say you love me, just to turn your back.
You are so cunning with your cutting remarks,
you don't want to break the rhythm.
As family taught and families often do:
Be careful what you're giving.
Say what you will,
then walk away.
Never come back again.
You can have your lies,
and I fall apart,
but you never could break my heart.
Cause you faded in,
and you'll fade back out.
So heaven help you if you someday regret
the way you treated me.
Spend every minute of my life regretting you,
trying to rid myself of your disease.
Oh please.
Say what you will,
then walk away.
Don't ever come back again.
You can have your lies,
and I fall apart,
but you never could break my heart.
Cause you faded in
and you'll fade back out.
Say what you will,
walk away,
don't ever come back again.
You can have your lies,
and I fall apart,
but you never could break my heart.
Cause you faded in
and you'll fade back out.

I've waited not-so-patiently, and now thanks to Hogle Zoo, I'll finally be able to meet my precious little Ghost of the Bayou. One of these posters will eventually make its way home with me.

A not-so-white alligator, tuckered out red panda , and monkey sporting a monkey on shirt while sitting in front of a monkey behind glass.

Whatcha looking' at mister?

Sweet, sweet Hogle Zoo gift shop.

The pictures don't rock, but His Majesty is so amazing. I had the goofiest smile the entire time. I had built him up so much that I was nervous that I would fall hard, but how could I have ever doubted him?

Umm ... believe me, I will.

Prepping before our Ghost of the Bayou encounter. I was so nervous: dry mouth, sweaty palms. I didn't want the camera to catch my tears of fear.

At the Krabi beaches in Thailand, I was obsessed with, of course, the crabs. I couldn't get enough of the hermit crabs, and I giggled every time I saw a crab gingerly side-step out of his hole to roll a tiny ball of sand out. I loved the spattering of small patterns of balls of sand that littered the beach.

I've been up in Park City for the last two weeks at a PCMI conference. This is my afternoon working group, and I adore all of them. Most of them are crazy, but we all know that the crazies are my favorite. I know that there are more pictures of me: me and Governor Huntsman, me making a fool of myself playing the Price is Right ... I need to find all of them, and I will ... probably.
In the morning session (before this lovely group meets) we meet with all of the teachers involved with the Secondary Ed part of PCMI. There are about 100 + involved, many from different parts of the world. I was quietly pulled aside at breakfast by Kelley and asked to be involved in the Price is Right opening game. We play Games of the Day and then attack math problems that involve those games. It's nerdy, and I love it. I nervously ate my raspberry yoplait, and then tall/rugby playing/I have the majorest crush on him/silly boy in a man's body Ben came by and asked if I was okay with playing. I wanted to be witty so that he'd instantly fall in love with me and explain that I'd already been drafted, but instead I gloriously replied, after a nervous swallow, "Yes."
"For the game of the day today," Bowen shouted into his mic, "we have randomly chosen ... Amy!" I had been so nervous all morning, knowing that I would be in front of so many people, wondering if I was going to make a complete fool of myself by making a lame comment or goofing up a math problem. I was trapped in the middle of all of these tables, but I made sure to make a Price is Right worthy run to the front involving a tricky leap over a chair and wild waves of both arms. I debated kissing Bowen on the cheek ... nah, too weird. I made a big dramatic deal about slipping in lame comments. "I've watched your show since day one," this got the crowd laughing considering we've only played for seven days. Bowen said I got to choose any game that I wanted to, but I knew that they were set up to play Plinko, so I crossed my fingers and begged them to let me play Plinko.
It wasn't very fun to play because I did nothing except cheer on the chip as it bounced off of the pegs on the computer animation. I didn't get to push any buttons, but I was a great contestant regardless. I sank to my knees as I managed to $0 on the first drop, jumped in circles when I landed $10,000, and did a little jig when I left with $10,500. Why did the jig have to come out? Oh well, they ate it up. Ben cupped his hands, encouraging "Let's hear it for Amy!" He's definitely falling for me ...

Supply wish-list:

"Two Ms. Batemans to help us."


CRT testing is stressing my babies out.
"Smells like CRT in here."

Kenneth broke out in hives today. He'd laugh, scratch, complain, and repeat. After realizing that a touch of his finger brought a hive, he proceeded to trace a smiley face on his face resulting in hive smiley face. Dear, sweet, Kenneth.
Tyson naughtily pointed out, "My STD never looked like that," to which I clucked and shook my head at the inappropriateness. "Oh! Ms. Bateman! I'm just kidding, oh, I'm sorry! I've never ..." He was super embarassed that I overheard.

* Papa Bear just beat me at birthday croquet. Ugh ... I've maintained first place for two whole weeks.

I'll add detail later ... just don't want to forget.

* My dear handball buddies.
* Burrito discussion was aided by burritoish smell drifting through vents.
* Curse our rainy fire drill that was right after our lockdown drill
* "You hate build a bear?! That's where one of my best friends came from."
* Croquet to the max
* Down with clothes thieves
* Ezra back bites (not bites back)
* "You're really late, but we know how to take care of ourselves."
* Nathaniel gets a taste.