Salt Lake 1/2 Marathon: More Details

For a great play by play, check out my sissy's blog.

Salt Lake 1/2 Marathon

Loves:

* Riding with Kolten in the morning and listening to his great music.

* Jumping jacks galore when we saw cute Natalie and were trying to get her attention.

* Tears down my face when I saw a blind runner.

* Swallowing really hard when I saw a marathoner on crutches.

* Seeing Candace and Lara along the route, (competitive part of me loves that we passed them).

* Chatting it up with Garth Horton in the rain on the terrible part of State Street.

* Kolten's insistence we take a goo packet each.

* Running with Dra the entire time.

* Perfect running weather.

* High-fiving little kids along the way.

* Seeing friends at the finish line.

* Hugging my sissy at the end.

Arcade Fire Concert!

My absolute, hands down, even if an Elaine-like dancer is in front of me the entire time, favorite band live.

Sorry Black Keys, you're a close second though.

Me and my buddy before we moved to the floor to shake it.

My buddy Patrick and his tiny frosty buddy.

*Thank you Emily for letting me snake your pictures.

Ezra Turned 6 Today!

This is a picture from last year when he turned 5.

I was wandering around WalMart yesterday with Jackie on the phone, trying to figure out what to get the little birthday boy. After hanging up, my eyes settled on the perfect gift for Ezra. (Picture shown above.)

He is the sweetest kid ever. He ran around and gave us each hugs after he opened his presents, and made sure we knew he loved his presents. Andrea said that later at dinner he confessed, "I sure do love all of my presents, but my favorite is my sea monkeys!" I caught him cuddling the package at one point, and he and I talked and talked about everything sea monkeys.

* Don't want to forget: I love that Ezra asked if I would sit next to him during the movie, and then when little Addy wanted to sit next to him too, he sweetly said, "Well, I want to sit next to my Aunt Amy."

Some great quotes from school today:

1) "I won't be teaching today, I have a massive headache and might pass out at any second. Take this worksheet and finish it, but don't ask questions please." (Said to a child as he tried to walk into class. I watched dumbfounded.)

2) "Why don't you cry like other teachers cry?" (I was quizzed as I walked kids back from the gully after I helped them plant peas. I assured them it's because I don't have feelings.)

3) After planting our seeds, I was herding the cats (children), when I stumbled on a wonderful situation. "A worm! Let's put him in the water! No, no, he won't drown Ms. Bateman, he's the new Michael Phelps! Swim Michael, swim! No, don't dig in the rocks, swim!"

4) While observing another teacher, she directed this at a student, "Take your stuff and shit over there in the corner ... sit over there in the corner."

Meet Nic VanDyken. I have been co-teaching with him this year. I adore him, and I like to think I am cooler since I'm buds with such a rad splitboarder.

Today, two of my 9th grade girls came to 5th period late with excusal notes from the office. I'm annoyed.

In the middle of class, they both got a note requesting that they go back to the office. I am even more annoyed. Wondering if they're scheming, I make sure to send them at separate times.

They wander back in together with about five minutes left in class (volcano erupting annoyance) . Perfect, they missed our entire lesson. Good thing I've been posting each lesson on youtube lately.

Right before the bell rings to let class out, I get this message from our hall monitor, Kat:

"We are trying to get a statement from Oakli and Gabbi, and they are not being cooperative. even though we sent them back to class, we have asked them NOT TO COMMUNICATE. Obviously we think that they will. If you see them talking or if they pass a note of any kind, please confiscate it and call me immediately!! Thank you "

I'm burning holes into the back of their heads. The bell rings and I watch Oakli toss a tiny, bright yellow note to Gabbi, but it falls short and lands on the floor. They know I hate notes; they know I hate garbage on the floor. I tell Oakli to grab it and hand it to me. Then I hold Oakli after to keep her away from Gabbi for a bit longer.

Once they're out of my sight, I unravel the note:

I am thinking, "What the crap are they up to! I cannot wait to give this to Kat." Then I flip over to the backside of the note:

I was duped! How did everything work out so perfectly? The girls came back in as I was sending a note to Kat. They laughed and laughed and ran out, "We love you Ms. Bateman!"

Today in Math 7, my students finished with ten minutes still left in class. What to do? What to do? We decided to get silly and play math pictionary using the words from our word wall. Our second volunteer was so excited to come to the board. He drew the following:


"Obtuse! It's obtuse!" The children excitedly called out.
He was so proud of himself; the class was so proud that they guessed it.

I was bent over, laughing, then squeaked out, "Let's have a quick discussion on the differences between obtuse and obese."

I just heard an adorably hilarious Ezra story from my mom, and I hope Jackie's okay if I blog about it. I can't get enough of Ezra; I love his guts.

Apparently, he climbed into James and Jackie's bed one morning, but kept chatting when Jackie was trying to fall back asleep. He asked her if he was a genius, and she gently explained that usually people have to be older before being classified as a genius, and yes, he is extremely smart, but no, he might not be a genius.

Ezra started crying, "But the only thing I've ever wanted was to be a genius!"

Money Money Money!

The other morning I was touching my toes after a great run (great because I had just finished), when something green winked at me from the gutter. Money! I went in for a closer look, thinking to myself that I wasn't willing to touch it since it was in the gutter, but I gasped and snatched it up quick. I promptly put it in the pocket of my running pants. Then my cute older neighbor came around the corner and almost scared the money out of my pocket.

"There's our athlete!" She embarrasses me. Did I ever mention how when I moved in she asked if I was a body builder? Sheesh.

After worrying if this was one of the situations that we go through in primary of how to deal with it honestly, I called my dad.

Me: "Dad! you will never believe what I found on my run today!"

Dad: "A dead raccoon?"

Me: "Better!"

I can't remember how the rest of his guessing game went.

Me: "Dad, I found a one hundred dollar bill!"

Dad: Silence. "You're kidding me."

He helped me figure out exactly what to say when I called the apartment office.

Greatest news is no one called in! Mine, mine, mine! I like to think that it makes up for the night in college when someone took my Friday night waitressing tips.

It sure pays to run.

Very recently, I was sitting in church thinking about how scary it is that I was just called to be a ward missionary, and then I started thinking about how I might have to speak in church about it, then I let myself daydream about my nephews coming up to sing, "I hope they call me on a mission ..." then I all but bawled my mascara off thinking of them not only growing up but also leaving me for two years.

I am desperate for a nephew hug right now.

Death by Puffy Face

Day One:

While hanging out with Ben, my entire neck throbs with whiplash-like pains for no good reason. My glands must have been flipping out. Once at my mom's, she begs me to go to instacare so I don't get the rest of the family sick when they're over for the holidays. Ugh. I take myself, I end up seeing the same doctor that stitched up Ben's leg after my snowboard sliced him, strep test comes back negative, she gives me a prescription for gargle stuff to numb the pain in my throat. I'm so terrified that I'm going to swallow the stuff that I accidentally swallow some the first time I use it.

Day Two:

I wake up looking like the picture above (if you can't tell what's wrong, red face and puffy on the right side). I call my mom, half crying, half choking on my insanely sore throat, I try to explain to her what I look like and beg her to tell me what's going on. She says Em's sick too, so my mom and dad come pick me up and take both Em and I to instacare. It's hilarious now that I thought this first day was bad. Em tests positive for strep, I baffle the doctors and am given a prescription and told to keep gargling, take 4 ibuprofen every 6 hours, and it wouldn't hurt to take benadryl and claritin too.

Day Three:

I am not sleeping well, my face burns all night. I literally sleep with an ice pack on my face all night. I actually went to bed with hopes that I would see improvement, nope, way worse (picture above). Again, call my mom with the voice of a teenage girl trying to bear her testimony at camp, and now she sounds worried. She's at the dermatologist with Em, she gets his advice, and makes an appointment for me later that afternoon with him.

Ben kept me company and let me slaughter him at Boggle. (Side note: Has anyone seen the Conan commercial where he's acting like a nerd and he shakes his finger and says, "I play boggle!" makes me laugh really hard every time ... cause I'm a boggle nerd.) I'm way embarrassed to look half Amy half Sloth from Goonies in front of Ben, but it was so nice to have him with me. When I was laughing that I might not make it through this, he scoffed and said, "Yeah, death by puffy face," and when asked to promise that he would make sure they cover my bad side at the funeral, he promised they would cover the good side.

Dermatologist was so attentive and talked so fast. He told me to stop taking all medicines, wrote me a new prescription, gave me free samples of a $200 face lotion, and told me I had to call him in the morning better or worse. He said if it was worse, I should go get an IV of antibiotics. Friend for life, he gave me hope.

This was my most public appearance all week, and it was so depressing. Pretty sure I scared a little girl in the elevator, pretty sure people thought I was in the building for cosmetic surgery, pretty sure they were all thinking, "Whoa, she needs it."

Day Four:

No pictures, way worse than day three. If only there were pictures.

I drive myself to my parents, dreading every stoplight where someone will have the chance to look over at me. I call the dermatologist's office, leave a message, and wait until I hear from him to see what I should do. While laying on the couch, Jay continues to wander downstairs now and then, and with me right next to him, whispers to my mom, "How she doing?" My family was starting to write me off.

An hour later, I hadn't heard back. I asked my mom to call again so they didn't have to listen to shaky girl's voice again on the phone. We wait. I finally confess to my mom that I feel terrible, and I just want to go get the IV. She's got a lunch date with her mom and sisters and brothers-in-law; I'm ruining everyone's Christmas. I want to go soon so she can still get to her lunch fun. Right before we head out the door, the dermatologist calls back and tells me to go in right now and to call him afterwards. So kind.

Em and my mom and I go back to instacare.

The nurse, "Whoa, how long has your face been like that?" Vitals continue to be great and I continue to show that I don't have a fever. Pretty sure I did though at one point. Cold sweat, chills, then so hot you feel like you're going to puke, that's a fever right?

The IV = yikes. The nurse stabbed my right arm, but bent the plastic tube, "You have tough skin!" great, now I feel like an alligator. New nurse came in and stabbed my left arm, yowser, that did not feel good. I'm talking like crazy through the entire process and not looking trying to distract myself, and I realize I'm going into way too much detail about how Ben and I watched I Shouldn't be Alive, and it was about a boy who got attacked by a bear on a hunting trip ... "And he was alone, and it was dark, and it started to pour, and his thigh was flayed open, and here I am complaining about a puffy face ..." all said in a voice that was way too high and way too fast. The dang nurse agreed that I shouldn't be complaining. Em said I was being hilarious the entire time.

After the solution dripped its way into my system, they left the plastic catheter in, wrapped up my arm, told me to be careful not to pull it out otherwise they'd have to do put it in again, and see you again tomorrow (Christmas Eve) and possibly the next day (Christmas).

I laid on my mom's couch all day terrified that I was going to pull that dang thing out, terrified that I would never get better. I sunk into a deep depression thinking about my ugly face. I felt like a fool after watching multiple episodes of Fatal Attractions, a stupid show that quickly sucked me in about people who keep dangerous animals that end up attacking them.

My sisters did all of my Christmas shopping for me, my dad gave me a blessing that morning, I needed to focus on how great everyone was being.

Day Five:

Pictures below. I'm better! I still look ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as day four! Everyone at the clinic comments that I look better, later at the pharmacy after my prescription gets changed again, the pharmacist tells me I look so much better. I am told I don't need to go in for another dose of IV antibiotics on Christmas. Huzzah!

I feel good enough to attend my Grandma Bateman's Christmas Eve party, where no one comments on my face. Actually, my Uncle Mark asked if I had hay fever, and my mom just confessed that my Grandma thought I had cellulite on my face. Oh Grandma.

Day Seven (today):

Almost all puffiness gone except for some lingering around my eye. I have a burn under my eye that my mom thinks came from a fever. At dinner, Em said, "You're back!"

A Couple of Great Pictures

Abe and I reading the latest toy ad. He knows exactly what he does and does not want.

Em and I on our eventful hike/walk to Donut Falls. We saw a moose on our way back, well, we heard it first, Em about wet herself, then we saw it.

Halloween 5k

Me and Tobias

I won an award for hardest costume to run in, Ben won an award for most original costume. Nobody knew who he was, so it was incredibly ironic that he won most original by default.

Tobias won 1st place in his age group, Luchador mask (Jason Faull - Ben's army buddy) won 2nd place in his age group. They both received heavy, engraved medals.

Donut Falls Hike

Zach and I drove up Big Cottonwood Canyon yesterday morning to find the hike to Donut Falls. We didn't want to go on too long of a hike so we could be back for the morning session. This is a super quick hike that would be perfect for any little family. It might be good for a little trail run too. The leaves were beautiful, but we didn't stick around too long because we were downright freezing. There wasn't a rigorous part of the hike to warm us up.

As we drove out, I told Zach, "Back up, back up, back up!" just like on Jurassic Park.

We saw a moose!

A Weekend at the Heiner Household

September 23, 24, 25

Ben and Anth finishing up their work on the roof.

After my grueling run where I got chased by dogs, I got back to what I had been busy with all weekend: kittens!

Kittens inspired by kittens!

The three stripey ones in the shadows are so wild, and one was cross-eyed. I threw beef jerky right in front of Lil Googly Eyes, but he couldn't find it. I had so much fun playing with them. It was so different to have cats that actually purr and don't sink their belly to the ground when you try to pet them.

My favorite.

Denver!

Ben, Ben's brother Anth, and I went to Denver for Ben's second yellow ribbon ceremony. We had so much fun, and I only took two pictures.

Things to remember:

• Peruvian restaurant that wasn't really Peruvian. Waiting an hour and a half when there was only a table of four in front of us. Having our waitress admit they were closing down the next day. "The craziest thing just happened ..."
• Dinner with Ben's sister Mariann and her family. XXX bowling was a bad idea. Mariann's girls were way too pushy/flattering when we were in Claire's.
• Jake flirting with the clerk right in front of Ali. The clerk writing her number on a card for Jake.
• Catching a shuttle from the airport to our hotel, "Sorry, it's like an hour wait," but when I walked out I got right on a shuttle.
• Feeling like a celebrity when I walked down the aisle to find my seat on the airplane. Feeling like a celebrity when we got to watch tv for free. Feeling incredibly sick on the airplane, looking out the window for my parent's house, breaking out in a cold sweat, convincing myself, "I am not going to throw up in front of all of these people!" panicking and grabbing Ben's barf bag, barely making it without getting sick, Ben was completely unaware of all of this.

I loved this, and I dedicate this picture to Dra.

The gaggle.

Left to right: Ali, Jake, Ben, Anth, Jeff

Mona Rope Swing

Ben waiting for the rope.

A larger boy went off of this one, but didn't have the strength to hold on once the rope caught. He basically just fell into the water, luckily he was okay, and then we all had a hearty laugh. Later he did the same thing again, but came out with rope burns on his hands.

Checkout Em's blog for an amazing video of our fun at Mona. Below are some ridiculous clips that make me laugh for different reasons. To avoid landing on Ben, I butt-flopped. Can't wait until it's warm again.

Climbing at the Slips up Big Cottonwood

After school yesterday, I was writing the agendas up on the whiteboard, and my back was to my classroom door.

I hear a soft, "Hello?" from behind me.

Knowing it was Carrie, a fellow math teacher, I took my time turning around because I thought it was so weird that she called in. When I turned around, there she was with a much older lady. Oops, should have turned around faster.

Carrie: "Amy, this is my mom! I don't think you've ever met her before."

Me: "Nope, oh hi! Nice to meet you! I've heard so much about you."

Carrie's Mom: "Well I came to help out Carrie, but I was up in the office, and I told the secretaries that I was here to see the best math teacher at Eastmont!"

She said all of this in a typical super adorable Grandma voice.

"Everyone in the office said, 'Oh! You're here to see Amy Bateman?!' I told them no ... Carrie. So I just had to come down to meet you."

I don't know if this is coming across, but it was absolutely hilarious, and I all but peed my pants trying not to laugh when she told me. When you see me, ask me to tell you in person, it'll be better.