1)

Me: "Looks like you copied."

Student: "I'm pretty sure I didn't?" Really said with a question mark.

Me: "Pretty sure?"

2)

Student: “I wrote my schedule on my hand, but my sister’s hamster tried to bite science off this morning.”

3)

I'm about to read Tina Fey's Bossypants, and I've already laughed and sent a funny text before opening the book. Can't wait.