Sunday, May 31, 2009

Emily spoke in church today.

Jay's take on the whole thing:

1st he pretended to be Emily by mumbling for awhile, then he buried his face in his hands and started crying. Nobody saw this first mock but me.

2nd he stated, "All I know is first you're talking, then you're sobbing."

Then he repeated his imitation of her mumbling then crying for everyone to see. He's really on one today.

Emily gave a fabulous talk.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

"Heh, heh, goggles."

A little girl in the audience called out,
"Guess they're going to have to buy a new house."

Sunday, May 24, 2009

My friend Anne got married yesterday.
She busted through the doors, "I got married!"
I told her later that if my wedding just happened to be an exact replica of hers, she need not be annoyed, just flattered.

Here's a pic of her nephew, James, stomping through
Mount Timpanogas Temple's flowers.
He refused to come out to his great aunt, and kept his back to the little concrete wall. (I couldn't really blame him, that lady had the most pointy boobs I have ever seen in my life. Quite terrifying actually.)

Jonas Brothers Copied Jay Dee

I was enjoying my rainy Sunday drive, heard an announcement on the radio, and was actually somewhat excited for a song that was coming up. I was about to hear a Jonas Brothers song; I have easily avoided them this entire time. I have been a tad curious what they sound like.

Song starts, pretty cheesy (not surprised), and then I caught the lyrics confessing, "I'm freaking out," and I laughed so hard, I considered pulling over.

If you're not laughing, then you haven't been around Jay Dee enough.

Couple of examples:

"Mom and Dad say I'm staying up too late. They say I need to go to bed. I'm freaking out."

"Amy? You know James come home tonight (from his mission)? I'm freaking out," but he was not freaking out in an I'm-excited-to-see-him way.

This Just In:

I ran up to borrow something from Jay, and he asked if I'd seen his new recipe for ice cream. He told me it was on his desk which is completely saturated with different recipes. It's not a desk, it's a giant sticky note made of tiny sticky notes. While searching for the ice cream recipe he wrote today, he quizzed me, "Great news for you. I got a new CD. Know which one? Jonas Brothers!" I couldn't contain my guffaw, and I told him I just barely heard part of one of their songs this morning. "Oh! Which one is your favorite?!"

Don't know yet Jay, don't know.

Friday, May 22, 2009

These last few of weeks, I've been running at Sugarhouse Park. It is a perfect place to run: duck pond, bike and running path, lots of trees, plenty of grass, longboarders to spy on, and one loop is 1.66 miles. I only have to run two loops for a great 5k.

Every night I run, I have an adventure.

Here's a taste of what you could enjoy if you came with me:

1. I was huffing my way up one of the little hills, trying not to breathe too loud as I passed some of the walkers, and as I made my way to the top, I glanced down at a group "playing" on the grass. Oh, they weren't playing though, they were fighting! A huge group of guys were all decked out in medieval armor: shields, swords, everything, and they were battling while peasant-clad onlookers cheered them on.

2. I was about to finish my second loop, I was telling myself things like, "Best 5k ever! Go faster, there's your car, go faster! You are almost done! You are doing so great!" when two girls passed me. Ugh. One of them was a little heavier set. She had a cute blue tank top on, and a short black tennis skirt. I've always thought these skirts were pretty dang adorable and looked quite comfortable. While I was thinking about whether I should look into purchasing one for myself, oh no! The girl's butt cheeks were making an appearance every once in awhile! Just a hint at the very bottom of one cheek at a time was peeking through, depending on the shift in her weight. No way! I wasn't trying to be a pervert, but I sped up just to clarify. Yup, butt cheeks. So gross in so many ways. Then I was in a dilemma about whether I warned her or not. Would I want to be told? Probably not, it would ruin my run. What would I say anyway? So I kept my mouth shut, and cringed as I watched her pass two older guys.

3. I sprinted to my car, ended my run, stopped my ipod, and walked with my hands on my hips. From behind me came a horrible squealing and crunching. I turned, still with my hands on my hips, to see a guy continue pushing his car into the corner of the car in front of him. Poor buddy, there was no one behind him, he could have easily backed out before pulling out.

4. I spotted a small group of elderly folk powering their way through Tai Chi. Later on a different lap of the park, I saw that they had beautifully colored fans in each hand as they made their moves.

5. I commonly mistake little dogs for cats, but this time, it really was a cat that caught my eye! A huge soft black cat was taking long selfish strides on the curb. An old lady with a gardener hat poked her way over to him, scooped him up like a sack of potatoes, and took him closer to their car. He sat and looked at her, then turned and made a few bored rounds around a tree. He wasn't on a leash, there are dogs everywhere, who takes their cat to the park to hang out? What if he ran up a tree?

6. As I was ending a run, I heard wheels behind me. It startled me, was a rollerblader about to pass me? A guy sporting a helmet and ski poles flew past me on rollerskis. I have no idea if that's what they're called, but that's what it looked like. He tucked in as he headed downhill, poles parallel to the road. Looked like a blast.

Monday, May 18, 2009

I was trying to describe the scene in Crocodile Dundee where Dundee is holding the kangaroo, and the poachers think the kangaroo is shooting back at them.

What does Dundee say to the kangaroo carcass once the drunk poachers speed away?
Is it, "Nice shooting Skippy?"

I tried to find an image of the scene, but I stopped here because it was so dang funny.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I snagged a yogurt from my mom's fridge a couple of weeks ago, and yet it still waits patiently in the fridge at work.
Mom nodded, "Sure you can take one, just know it 'gets you moving.'"
I am scared of the consequences.
Does anyone want it?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Do you ever save old texts for way too long because they remind you that you are wickedly funny?
I imagine that everyone who receives a text from me is always super excited. I live in such a little world of pretend.
Here's a handful of old texts I've let simmer in my outbox for long enough:

"I forgot about our candy apple and when I went to rescue him just now, he was mad, and squishy, and smelly. Nuts."

"Just got out of the bath, and as I watched the water swirl down the drain ... Ew! That's a gross clump of hair. Way wrong. It was a drowned spider! I could puke!"

"Holy crap! Bruce Lindsay is at my table!"

Hilarious responses to good ol' Bruce (held-my-hand-for-too-long) Lindsay:

"Wow! You should make a wise crack about Nadine Wimmer."

"The news anchor?! Resembles dad????"

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Ben will be away at training in California for a month,
then home for four days,
then off to New Jersey for a couple of months,
then straight to Afghanistan.
Tuesday night I cried so hard I gagged.
Last Sunday we made Shiskebabs!

Here's Ben grillin' like a villain.

Monday: I decided to take work off so I could play with Ben.

We played speed scrabble all morning, and I graciously beat him most of the time.

We went to Sugarhouse Park and walked around, and I got too crazy and jumped from the bank of the creek on to a sandbar. Ben compared me to a trapped cat because I was fretting about how to get back without getting really wet. Should have thought before I jumped.

Ben dropped me off at the end of school so that I could help out with our faculty meeting. (I got our entire staff to do the circumference conga line, it was hilarious!)

Afterwards, I met Ben at my parents, and again, graciously beat him most of the time at Dr. Mario.

Tried on my dress for Thursday's award ceremony to get my mom's approval on the shoes I planned to wear. I had to suffer a very painful debate about whether I would wear "socks" or not. I refused to wear what I call tights, my mom refused to believe that I could look fancy without "socks". The fact that she was calling them socks was proof enough. I had peep toed shoes, only old ladies would be caught with "socks" on! Her argument was that they were so "nude" that no one would notice. Yeah right. She insisted that I had to at least try them on, I insisted that there was no way in hell that I was going to wear them so there was no need to even try them on. Ben and my dad kept looking at me, then my mom, then me, then my mom ... So I left the house too frustrated, and Ben whispered that he agreed with me completely.

Went to see Earth. I laughed at everything (in a very pleased way) while Ben snoozed. I kept getting scared and my jumps would rouse Ben. "Sorry, but ... the lions!"

Dined at Zupa's. I love that place.

Best day off ever.