Saturday, December 20, 2008
My dad was grumpy this morning.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Ben's cousin Kent Jones invited us to his family's early Thanksgiving dinner held on Sunday night. They live out in Tooele, and when I agreed to go with Ben, my mind was churning out Taylorsville. Big difference between Taylorsville and Tooele. Why are you calling Thurm for directions? Why do we have to drive past the airport?
It was a great time all around. The Jones family was incredibly friendly and chatty, the food was outstanding, and now I want to live in Tooele where everyone has access to the lake via their backyard. Kent built his own waterfall; this guy is amazing.
Point of the post:
After stuffing ourselves silly, we all gathered around the family dinner table to play an intense game called Whackee Six. Ben and I were on the same team, and while I was getting a quick version of the rules, the Jones family was jabbing at Ben, insisting that all Heiners are super competitive.
My mind shot back, "Heiners may be competitive, but Batemans always win."
Friday, November 21, 2008
I was busy silently cursing another teacher; his inadequacies had created a huge emergency to-do list for me, and he also made me late to my meeting.
So I huff out my door, barely miss knocking down our busty sweeper, but then I'm nearly knocked down when I hear her say, "Turns out, when you don't have your period, you gain a lot of weight. So ...," and she Vanna White's her whole body.
Inadequate teacher stands there, nodding his head, arms folded, totally engaged in the conversation, "Hmm ... I didn't realize. You know, now that you point that out, I have a cousin ... "
I wanted to melt. I closed my eyes as I locked my door behind me, held my lips tight as I tried to sneak upstairs.
1st red flag: How is this girl so bold to talk about this stuff to a male teacher?
2nd red flag: Why was the teacher continuing this conversation?
So grossly inappropriate! Am I wrong?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
1. South Towne VW Dealership.
Me: "I came in three weeks ago, why was I never called that my parts were in?" (I was on edge from living a life with a trunk that wouldn't latch. I dare you: Don't shut your trunk, place something strategically so that it won't latch when jarred by one of the many bumps that infest our roads, and love life through heavy snow storms.)
Dork: "It must have been an oversight."
2. The District
I was violently ill Wed night/Thu morning. I have NEVER been this sick before in my entire life. I was desperate to get the number to order a substitute; the district changed programs this year, and of course I hadn't put it in my phone yet. I watched the clock, and a little before 6:00 A.M. I called my parents', barely keeping it together enough not to cry. My dad was so sympathetic, but didn't know the number, and mom was in the shower. She called back, gave me the number, but when I tried calling, before I could even enter my pin number, the dang system would hang up on me. After three similar tries, I quit. Awesome.
So I called Carrie (a fellow teacher who knows everything and is the greatest), and she tried to get on-line and help me out. No luck. Something was up with my pin number. Our principal had begged us to set everything up the week before school started, and I had dutifully checked that off my list. I had taken care of things! Why wasn't this working?
So I ended up calling the Sub Office, and the lady on the other end talked to me like a baby. She made me pledge that I would go on-line and practice, watch the 8 minute video, "I can't do this every time for you. I will do it this once, but promise me that you will go in and practice. So you promise? You promise to watch the video too? ...", and repeated everything three times. It took her three seconds to put in the order, tell me my pin (How the hell was I supposed to know what it was when I had set it to something different?) I was fighting the urge to flip out, but the fight to not puke while I was on the phone overpowered and took all of my concentration.
I called Carrie back and she was also angry that my pin number made no sense.
Granted, I'm sure that lady gets a lot of irresponsible people bugging her, but I had troubleshot to the best of my abilities, and I secretly wished (kind of, but not really) that something horrible had happened to me so that I could throw it in her High and Mighty face.
Strolled into my classroom the morning after my sub to find that it had exploded. Really. Rooms tend to be disheveled after a sub, but mine was unbelievable. I should have taken pictures. All of my markers/pens/pencils are gone, my desk was surrounded my students' desks (I literally had to climb over them to get to my desk), my posters had been ripped down, and ... my new interactive whiteboard was in pieces in my office.
I freaked out.
The pukey feeling I had finally conquered returned.
I desperately searched for Carrie.
Luckily, I was able to schedule an emergency computer day which resulted in me enduring so many whinerbaby comments from my kids. I sent my aide to my room to clean up and it took her two full days to somewhat put it back together. I was terrified that my Promethean Board wouldn't be the same; I had been one of the lucky ones who actually had one in working condition. The company that installed it said they'd charge a $300 reinstallation fee. Nice. My stomach hurts recalling everything.
The next day I was talking to administration, "You know how my Promethean Board got ripped down and is now in pieces in my office?"
"Oh! I thought you knew!" as I rubbed my head. So I described the bomb that went off in my room, listed what I had done on my end, and begged administration to talk to the custodians again about putting my board up.
The custodians got my Promethean Board up and working by the end of the day. Phew.
3. Substitutes that insist on being my students' best friend.
- "Sure you can listen to your ipods!" and pulls out his too.
- Texts while my students are taking a test.
- Courteously helps himself to all of my whiteboard markers, overhead markers, pens, pencils, and leaves a mysterious sticky stain on my desk.
- Plays with my VCR/DVD combo.
- "I completely forgot about that meeting!" Really? Huh. Did you receive the two e-mail reminders that we got from the district? You did. Did you receive the reminder e-mail that I sent out two days ago? You did. Then, did you still not come to the meeting? Sure enough.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
We camped out right at the bottom of this face.Lil' Climber's Lost Shoe
A granola couple, their two dogs, and friend passed on the trail. One of their dogs was running all over the place making sure he met everyone, and the old lady huffed, "He should be on a leash, there are a lot of protected animals around here."
The couple started laughing really hard, and the husband held on to the dog's tail for a bit.
It was hilarious/horrible.Hiking up Angel's LandingMade it! I was very nervous to be this close to the edge, and yes, it's not that close.
I thought we were done, got scoffed at, and then my direction was pointed towards the "Scary Chain" part. I remember when we were little we hiked this and one of my boy cousins cried pretty hard during the chain part. Cute Referee Joe
A couple that passed us joked, "Hey, I think that's the guy that sold you your shoes."
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Uni was a little down when I answered my phone and stopped giving him attention.
Black meets White
Get outta here!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
I dreamt that animals were surrounding our tent all night, and I kept screaming at them to run away. In the morning we found many tracks: bunny, lizard, coyote ...
Couldn't help but wonder our fate if there was an earthquake ... or flash flood.
No, no, we'll just walk through the icy/rocky water.
I had my pants rolled up, and they still managed to take a sip.
Can you see the Gainer's shoes? They're amazing.
Looking down into Goblin Valley.
Bouldering. My lizard friend.
He had no idea I was above him, so I ended up sneaking closer, squeezing his belly, screaming, then laughing way too hard when he skittered away.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
- While my chili was warming up in the microwave, I ran upstairs to check my box. I found a huge stack of bright blue handouts intended for my TA kids. Oh no! I looked at the directions, and I was supposed to hand them out to my kids on Oct. 22 so that they could attend the Oct. 24 meeting. "Just great," I'm muttering to myself. I totally didn't hand them out, but this is not my fault. I tutor every Wednesday morning, so I checked my box at 7:00 A.M. It's not my fault that the handouts were put in afterwards. So I was standing over the garbage, ready to toss the handouts in ... Duh! Oct. 22 is next week. I am so glad that I didn't vent to one of the many teachers in the room. I am dumb.
- Here's a breakdown of the next events: (Forgive the JayDee speech.)
1. Chili exploded in microwave. It popped its top and scared me.
2. Chili wasn't done cooking, so when I tried to coax it back in, it overflowed. (Count with me, that's two times I scrubbed the already gross microwave.)
3. Chili jumped out of my hands as I was about to open the math office door.
4. Chili so messy. It sprayed itself all over the wall, under the door, and all over the carpet.
5. Me say swear.
6. Me notice that chili is covering my pants!
7. Me say yet another swear.
8. Tried to clean it up, it won't let me.
9. My entire lunch break has been foiled, my pants are disgusting ...
10. Brilliant! I'll blaze to my parent's home and borrow some of Em's pants.
11. I literally run, am I even going to make it?
12. The ONLY pants I can even FIND are her bright skin-tight yellow ones.
13. Remember the day I spilled chili all over myself, all over the floor, and my consequence was to wear bright yellow pants to the last half of school?
- Ivan cheered me up during 5th period. I have a flourescent light that insists in flashing every once in awhile. Well, it rests right above Ivan, and it did its thing. Ivan stood up, jammed his fingers into his ears, and marched to the door, and waited.
"Ivan? What are you doing?" I am so confused.
"The fire drill!" and he said this with some attitude like we were all so stupid.
We laughed and laughed, and I could not get my kids to settle because I'd giggle every time I tried to tell them to get back to work. Poor Ivan, he's so trained. Yes, a light flashes before the fire alarm goes off, but there's no way his little fingers would keep out the blaring beeps.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Me and Laurelin: The motorcycle wreck survivors.
- She's always up for anything, and I mean anything.
- She's the bravest navigator ever.
- She's not afraid to adventure by herself.
- Her crazy stories make me laugh so hard. (Once a week, I got hit by a car or a scooter ...)
- I knew she was trouble when she couldn't stop giggling at our ILP meetings in Provo.
- Her style of playing basketball is jungle.
- She's brilliantly witty.
Tribute to Mike Petrogeorge
Me and Mike in Alishan back in our Taiwan days.
- He gives the best compliments, and they are always genuine.
- He consistently makes me laugh, and he thinks I'm pretty funny. (Right Mike?)
- He's a mighty fine bowler.
- Thoughtful and generous to the max.
- When I stumbled on his prosthetic leg as I clambered into bed ... wowza! That was the grossest/most ingenious April Fool's joke ever.
- How can you not be drawn to his shockingly awesome head of hair?
- He's my favorite Greek.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Look him up, and then checkout the movie
The Proof put out by NOVA.
You will be amazed.
I had my geometry kids take a wild guess and write down who they thought Andrew Wiles was. Their worlds will be rocked on Monday when they find out his true identity.
Here are my favorites so far:
1. Person who devoted his whole life to proofs.
2. Albert Einstein's best friend?
3. The guy who invented proofs. Thanks a lot Andrew...
4. He is a magician who rides a pony named Wilson. He has written three books in his lifetime and is a senior at Yale. He likes poetry and beautiful sunsets. His favorite brand of ice cream would definitely be ... chocolate chip cookie dough!
5. The man who created proofs and conditional statements and the bang of things we learned. Or he discovered the potato, which ever.
6. A kid who's father was in love with math but he wasn't. And his father passed away and he came in love w/ math.
7. A man named after a saint and a country in Great Britain.
8. A person I don't know
9. Some dude who decided we should have proofs for some weird reason.
10. He's like the free masons, the templars, and the men in black all combined.
11. A country singer.
12. Umm ... Batman?
And my most favorite:
13. Your boyfriend.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Me: "Guten tag, Ryan."
Ryan: "You speak German?!"
Me: "Just a little," as I pinch my fingers.
Ryan: "Wie alt bist du?"
Me: "Ich bin sechs und zwanzig jahre alt."
Ryan: "Whoa! You are old!"
Me: "Oh please, I'm not that old."
Ryan: "I am 14 years old, and I will never get older."
Me: "Hmm ... bet you will."
Ryan: "Nope, never. Bet you $50 dollars I won't."
Me: "$50! That's a lot, done."
Ryan: "$50 is not a lot, not when I'm going to be making trillions."
Me: "Trillions? I want to make trillions. How Ryan?"
Ryan: "Let's just say it's something to do with a little accident that happened last year. What's going on with MESA?"
Me: "Have you talked to Mr. Jensen? He's in charge of our next field trip."
Ryan: "MR. THOMAS! I mean MR. JENSEN! Okay, auf wiedersehn Fraulein Bateman."
Sunday, October 05, 2008
This cat blundered into our yard, and he/she is here to stay. He/she has now been knighted as my cat, and I kindly named him/her Malloy. My cat is the best of all of the cats that think that our home is theirs.
Here's a taste of why.
- Malloy actually purrs and actually likes to be held.
- Malloy comes when called. (Unless he/she's nervous about one of the other cats coming around.)
- Malloy cockily continues purring while the other cats hiss and spit at him/her.
- Malloy is happy to be pet, none of this dropping the belly to the ground, refusing to be pet. (I'm talking to you Moe!)
- Malloy is so soft and so dang cute with his/her white neck and white mittens.
- Malloy already deftly avoided a kick from my dad. (Dad missed and kicked the chair, and I cannot stop laughing as I continue to hit re-play in my mind.)
- Zach opened his arms wide, called to Malloy who was clear across the yard, and Malloy came running/purring.
- Malloy is a menace to the other cats. (Trust me, they need this.)
- Malloy is a blast from the past. (Look at my Born a Batman picture on the right side of this blog.)
- Malloy likes to tell secrets.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
- Climbed the hardest climb I've ever tried, a 9+. Please don't laugh, I'm trying to get better. Scared me so bad, I almost cried.
- Ate sushi with Ben and Jess.
- Longboarded up Provo Canyon, then back down Provo Canyon.
- Visited with Zach and Em.
- Ate a yummy breakfast with the Bateman fam.
- Rode trax to SLC (The crazies were in full swing.)
- Saw the circus! (I was absolutely amazed the entire time. It truly is the greatest show on earth/The most terrifying show on earth.)
- Ate at Jason's deli. (Free ice cream!)
- Busted it to get to the Red Lion hotel in order to catch the 5:00 P.M. Fun Bus to Wendover to visit Nat and Thurm. (Tears on my end.)
- Ate at a Mexican restaurant with Nat, Thurm, and baby Quinn
- Told scary stories
- Slept in late (Finally!)
- Helped Quinn get ready for church. (Tears on his end.)
- Used our free buffet ticket for lunch. (Crazy lady was there demanding that someone give her a blanket or a towel because she was too cold to eat. Amazing that they didn't have a blanket to offer, Ben and I laughed pretty hard. Later, when I snuck a peek, she was sporting a gross towel probably one fresh from being used to wipe off a table.)
- Played Bandu and Chicken Foot
- Hunted for frogs/scouted out old buildings/chased a lizard/mosquito bites galore
- Awesome hike
- Yummy homemade soup
- Watched a movie
- Goodbyes to Nat and Thurm
- Fun Bus home wasn't so fun at first because we almost got kicked off due to lack of room. "You could sit on my lap!" "Um ... I don't think my boyfriend would like that."
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
1. I am still terrified of gremlins.
2. I used to share cat food with my cat. "One x for you, one x for me, one x for you, one x for me."
3. I used to think that a wolf lived in our attic because there's a black splotch on one of the bricks in our fireplace that looks like a wolf, and I convinced myself that it was the previous owner's way of warning us.
4. I used to be a champion clogger. Only 1st place trophies for my team, thank you. Maybe I should bust out those bad-boys for the talent show at school.
5. When I wake up after a great night's camp-o-thon in a tent, my eyes are puffy and almost swollen shut. Shrug. I have no explanation for you.
Thursday and Friday weren't my favorite days at school, in fact they might top off as my two least favorite days out of all the slim pickins. Do you remember when Alfalfa from the updated Little Rascals comes trudging home, and he's just in his underwear and he's soaking wet, and the one little kid says, "Rough day?" That's how I felt.
Here's a less detailed, more bulleted version of what transpired.
- 504 meeting made me tardy to my own class
- Kid got flustered as he showed the class how to work a problem out, ended up throwing a marker at another student. (He came and sat on the floor next to me, think kindergarten.)
- I was back-stabbed yet again when it comes to math tutoring
- Fire alarm during lunch. Say it with me, "Pure chaos."
- Broke up an intense fight outside of my room
- Immediately after breaking up the fight, an administrator comes in to observe my teaching techniques
- "Ms. Bateman's cool now, but I bet she'll turn mean and creepy."
- Had to talk to a teacher about how embarassing it is that he never shows up to our team meetings. (There are only three of us total.)
- MESA overwhelms me
- Ended up crying last night, mostly because I was at the school from 7:00 A.M. until 5:30 P.M. and I was running around like crazy the ENTIRE day, and I was hungry and tired, and I still have 23 things on my to-do list that are waiting for me on Monday
- School meeting today (yes, Saturday) from 8:00 A.M. to 2:00 P.M.