Sunday, December 26, 2010

Death by Puffy Face

Day One:
While hanging out with Ben, my entire neck throbs with whiplash-like pains for no good reason. My glands must have been flipping out. Once at my mom's, she begs me to go to instacare so I don't get the rest of the family sick when they're over for the holidays. Ugh. I take myself, I end up seeing the same doctor that stitched up Ben's leg after my snowboard sliced him, strep test comes back negative, she gives me a prescription for gargle stuff to numb the pain in my throat. I'm so terrified that I'm going to swallow the stuff that I accidentally swallow some the first time I use it.

Day Two:
I wake up looking like the picture above (if you can't tell what's wrong, red face and puffy on the right side). I call my mom, half crying, half choking on my insanely sore throat, I try to explain to her what I look like and beg her to tell me what's going on. She says Em's sick too, so my mom and dad come pick me up and take both Em and I to instacare. It's hilarious now that I thought this first day was bad. Em tests positive for strep, I baffle the doctors and am given a prescription and told to keep gargling, take 4 ibuprofen every 6 hours, and it wouldn't hurt to take benadryl and claritin too.

Day Three:
I am not sleeping well, my face burns all night. I literally sleep with an ice pack on my face all night. I actually went to bed with hopes that I would see improvement, nope, way worse (picture above). Again, call my mom with the voice of a teenage girl trying to bear her testimony at camp, and now she sounds worried. She's at the dermatologist with Em, she gets his advice, and makes an appointment for me later that afternoon with him.
Ben kept me company and let me slaughter him at Boggle. (Side note: Has anyone seen the Conan commercial where he's acting like a nerd and he shakes his finger and says, "I play boggle!" makes me laugh really hard every time ... cause I'm a boggle nerd.) I'm way embarrassed to look half Amy half Sloth from Goonies in front of Ben, but it was so nice to have him with me. When I was laughing that I might not make it through this, he scoffed and said, "Yeah, death by puffy face," and when asked to promise that he would make sure they cover my bad side at the funeral, he promised they would cover the good side.
Dermatologist was so attentive and talked so fast. He told me to stop taking all medicines, wrote me a new prescription, gave me free samples of a $200 face lotion, and told me I had to call him in the morning better or worse. He said if it was worse, I should go get an IV of antibiotics. Friend for life, he gave me hope.
This was my most public appearance all week, and it was so depressing. Pretty sure I scared a little girl in the elevator, pretty sure people thought I was in the building for cosmetic surgery, pretty sure they were all thinking, "Whoa, she needs it."

Day Four:
No pictures, way worse than day three. If only there were pictures.
I drive myself to my parents, dreading every stoplight where someone will have the chance to look over at me. I call the dermatologist's office, leave a message, and wait until I hear from him to see what I should do. While laying on the couch, Jay continues to wander downstairs now and then, and with me right next to him, whispers to my mom, "How she doing?" My family was starting to write me off.
An hour later, I hadn't heard back. I asked my mom to call again so they didn't have to listen to shaky girl's voice again on the phone. We wait. I finally confess to my mom that I feel terrible, and I just want to go get the IV. She's got a lunch date with her mom and sisters and brothers-in-law; I'm ruining everyone's Christmas. I want to go soon so she can still get to her lunch fun. Right before we head out the door, the dermatologist calls back and tells me to go in right now and to call him afterwards. So kind.
Em and my mom and I go back to instacare.
The nurse, "Whoa, how long has your face been like that?" Vitals continue to be great and I continue to show that I don't have a fever. Pretty sure I did though at one point. Cold sweat, chills, then so hot you feel like you're going to puke, that's a fever right?
The IV = yikes. The nurse stabbed my right arm, but bent the plastic tube, "You have tough skin!" great, now I feel like an alligator. New nurse came in and stabbed my left arm, yowser, that did not feel good. I'm talking like crazy through the entire process and not looking trying to distract myself, and I realize I'm going into way too much detail about how Ben and I watched I Shouldn't be Alive, and it was about a boy who got attacked by a bear on a hunting trip ... "And he was alone, and it was dark, and it started to pour, and his thigh was flayed open, and here I am complaining about a puffy face ..." all said in a voice that was way too high and way too fast. The dang nurse agreed that I shouldn't be complaining. Em said I was being hilarious the entire time.
After the solution dripped its way into my system, they left the plastic catheter in, wrapped up my arm, told me to be careful not to pull it out otherwise they'd have to do put it in again, and see you again tomorrow (Christmas Eve) and possibly the next day (Christmas).
I laid on my mom's couch all day terrified that I was going to pull that dang thing out, terrified that I would never get better. I sunk into a deep depression thinking about my ugly face. I felt like a fool after watching multiple episodes of Fatal Attractions, a stupid show that quickly sucked me in about people who keep dangerous animals that end up attacking them.
My sisters did all of my Christmas shopping for me, my dad gave me a blessing that morning, I needed to focus on how great everyone was being.

Day Five:
Pictures below. I'm better! I still look ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as day four! Everyone at the clinic comments that I look better, later at the pharmacy after my prescription gets changed again, the pharmacist tells me I look so much better. I am told I don't need to go in for another dose of IV antibiotics on Christmas. Huzzah!
I feel good enough to attend my Grandma Bateman's Christmas Eve party, where no one comments on my face. Actually, my Uncle Mark asked if I had hay fever, and my mom just confessed that my Grandma thought I had cellulite on my face. Oh Grandma.

Day Seven (today):
Almost all puffiness gone except for some lingering around my eye. I have a burn under my eye that my mom thinks came from a fever. At dinner, Em said, "You're back!"

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A Couple of Great Pictures
Abe and I reading the latest toy ad. He knows exactly what he does and does not want.

Em and I on our eventful hike/walk to Donut Falls. We saw a moose on our way back, well, we heard it first, Em about wet herself, then we saw it.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Halloween 5k
Me and Tobias
I won an award for hardest costume to run in, Ben won an award for most original costume. Nobody knew who he was, so it was incredibly ironic that he won most original by default.
Tobias won 1st place in his age group, Luchador mask (Jason Faull - Ben's army buddy) won 2nd place in his age group. They both received heavy, engraved medals.

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Donut Falls Hike
Zach and I drove up Big Cottonwood Canyon yesterday morning to find the hike to Donut Falls. We didn't want to go on too long of a hike so we could be back for the morning session. This is a super quick hike that would be perfect for any little family. It might be good for a little trail run too. The leaves were beautiful, but we didn't stick around too long because we were downright freezing. There wasn't a rigorous part of the hike to warm us up.

As we drove out, I told Zach, "Back up, back up, back up!" just like on Jurassic Park.
We saw a moose!
A Weekend at the Heiner Household
September 23, 24, 25
Ben and Anth finishing up their work on the roof.
After my grueling run where I got chased by dogs, I got back to what I had been busy with all weekend: kittens!
Kittens inspired by kittens!
The three stripey ones in the shadows are so wild, and one was cross-eyed. I threw beef jerky right in front of Lil Googly Eyes, but he couldn't find it. I had so much fun playing with them. It was so different to have cats that actually purr and don't sink their belly to the ground when you try to pet them.
My favorite.
Ben, Ben's brother Anth, and I went to Denver for Ben's second yellow ribbon ceremony. We had so much fun, and I only took two pictures.
Things to remember:
  • Peruvian restaurant that wasn't really Peruvian. Waiting an hour and a half when there was only a table of four in front of us. Having our waitress admit they were closing down the next day. "The craziest thing just happened ..."
  • Dinner with Ben's sister Mariann and her family. XXX bowling was a bad idea. Mariann's girls were way too pushy/flattering when we were in Claire's.
  • Jake flirting with the clerk right in front of Ali. The clerk writing her number on a card for Jake.
  • Catching a shuttle from the airport to our hotel, "Sorry, it's like an hour wait," but when I walked out I got right on a shuttle.
  • Feeling like a celebrity when I walked down the aisle to find my seat on the airplane. Feeling like a celebrity when we got to watch tv for free. Feeling incredibly sick on the airplane, looking out the window for my parent's house, breaking out in a cold sweat, convincing myself, "I am not going to throw up in front of all of these people!" panicking and grabbing Ben's barf bag, barely making it without getting sick, Ben was completely unaware of all of this.
I loved this, and I dedicate this picture to Dra.
The gaggle.
Left to right: Ali, Jake, Ben, Anth, Jeff
Mona Rope Swing
Ben waiting for the rope.
A larger boy went off of this one, but didn't have the strength to hold on once the rope caught. He basically just fell into the water, luckily he was okay, and then we all had a hearty laugh. Later he did the same thing again, but came out with rope burns on his hands.
Checkout Em's blog for an amazing video of our fun at Mona. Below are some ridiculous clips that make me laugh for different reasons. To avoid landing on Ben, I butt-flopped. Can't wait until it's warm again.
Climbing at the Slips up Big Cottonwood

Saturday, September 11, 2010

After school yesterday, I was writing the agendas up on the whiteboard, and my back was to my classroom door.
I hear a soft, "Hello?" from behind me.
Knowing it was Carrie, a fellow math teacher, I took my time turning around because I thought it was so weird that she called in. When I turned around, there she was with a much older lady. Oops, should have turned around faster.

Carrie: "Amy, this is my mom! I don't think you've ever met her before."

Me: "Nope, oh hi! Nice to meet you! I've heard so much about you."

Carrie's Mom: "Well I came to help out Carrie, but I was up in the office, and I told the secretaries that I was here to see the best math teacher at Eastmont!"
She said all of this in a typical super adorable Grandma voice.
"Everyone in the office said, 'Oh! You're here to see Amy Bateman?!' I told them no ... Carrie. So I just had to come down to meet you."

I don't know if this is coming across, but it was absolutely hilarious, and I all but peed my pants trying not to laugh when she told me. When you see me, ask me to tell you in person, it'll be better.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Finally Finished the Placemats
The day before I left for Chicago, I realized I hadn't bought a present for Karen's wedding. I was super stressed trying to pack for Chicago and Honolulu, and I was running out of time. My mom encouraged me to finally finish my placemats and give them to Karen. My mom helped me so much, and she laughed really hard when I told her I was being selfish and didn't want to give them away because they turned out so great. Dra and I have already decided to make more.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Bells Canyon Hike:
The Search for Upper Falls
Zach and Ben
I forget what they were discussing, probably like me, they were wishing to see Bighorn Mountain Sheep fighting each other on the cliffs.

We could hear the falls ... or could we?
Found the Upper Falls!
No we didn't, now we truly found the Upper Falls.
We hiked around a bit amidst what we thought were the Upper Falls. Zach got a lot of pictures; I can't wait to see them. The water was amazing. The trail went on a little bit further past what we originally thought were the Upper Falls. We wondered if the trail led to the reservoir, so we decided to keep going. Good thing we did. These falls were amazing. I think I might be more impressed by the Upper Falls than the Lower Falls.
Is Ben planning what I think he's planning? Of course. He scrambled right up the rocks of this waterfall. Scared me too much, so Zach and I left and climbed to the right of the falls to get a view from the top.
The rock looked so flat and smooth at the top. Perfect for a water slide until you got to the fall part.
I don't remember what I was hoping to capture with this snap, but I laugh every time I look at this.
Swim Fun at Anth's Apt. Pool
Ben tossed off his flippy floppys and had fun with my camera. You can catch a glimpse of me right at the beginning of this video. I am contentedly stretched out reading my book.

Silver Lake Flats Swim
On our last day of the Bateman Family Campout, we packed everything up, headed down the canyon, met up with our friends the Gainers, and headed straight back up the canyon for a swim in the lake.
The boys found a log and swam around the lake.
Jess and I laughed at their antics, the fishermen around us did not.
View of Tibble.
Mt. Timpanogas Cave
Ben and the Stellars Jay
What? Can't find the bird?
That's because it flew away right when I took the picture.
Stellars Jay right by the original entrance to the cave.

Heart of the Cave
Salt and Pepper Shakers
Some joker broke them off and stole them, they were later found and returned then glued back on, and now we can't touch them.

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Granite Flats Campout
The last week of July was our annual Bateman Family Campout. My dad and I arrived first at our campsite up American Fork Canyon, and he kept me busy helping him set up the most ridiculous tarp above our tent (above the rainfly). My fear of bungee cords came out in full force as I continued to get thwapped by them. If I had been working with anyone but my dad, there would definitely have been tears. It's hard to see the system in the below picture, but let me assure you, neither my dad nor I are tall enough to have just simply stretched to reach the placement around the trees. I had to shimmy up pine trees (this doesn't work well at all, especially in tevas), my dad hired a stick to help guide the bungee where he wanted, and we found a box that he stood on while I braced it. I didn't really know how to brace it, so basically I just stood there with my body against the box, knowing full well that it would break my femur if it gave, repeating, "Please don't break," over and over and over in my head.

Back of Mt. Timp Hike
My Uncle Scott often organizes a hike up the back of Timp, and this was the first year I've ever been able to go. It was so amazing, and I hope we get to do it again next year.
Our first stop at the first meadow.
My cousin Josh (aka Bizarro World Zach) pointing to a deer clambering over the rocks.
The wildflowers were out of control. All of my pictures don't give them any justice.
View from the second meadow. We're going to the very top of that peak. Yowza. Can't say my heart didn't sink just a tad. So much farther to go.
My cousin Jess and our first encounter with a mountain sheep.
Ben at the Saddle.
Everyone pulled out their cellphones and called loved ones.
The tippy toppy!
We pulled out our snacks, Dra gasped, "My Doritos! Ohhh, I must have dropped them." Soon after, our cousin Brandon reached us and shouted, "Did someone drop Doritos?" He saved Dra's day.
Josh perched safely, but it still made my head spin a bit to see the drop.
Next challenge: Heading down to this lake.
Me and my sissy Em at the top, Ben checking out that guy's butt.
Me, Em, and Dra laughed so much the entire way up, and the majority of the way down. It was so much fun to hike with them.
The glacier we slid down.
I was so scared at the top when we were sliding sideways on the muddy rock.
I was so scared to slide down the glacier; it was so steep, and I was convinced a rock would give me another butt crack. Ben went first and laughed the whole way. Em and I sat on our garbage bags and tried to make a train, it didn't work. Dra has a hilarious video. I am scared but laughing, Em is scared and screaming bloody murder. Lots of our group gingerly walked down.
Herd of mountain goats right by the lake.
Can you believe we slid down this bad boy?
Incredibly beautiful.
I hope that Em and Dra post some of their pictures (hint hint wink wink). We had a fabulous time.