Emily's curious, yet sincere, question to my parents
about Michael Jackson's death:

"So now that he's in heaven, is he black again?"

It's here!

Em's video is now attached.
Scroll down for awesomeness.

After the fiasco, when Em was hiding behind a shopping cart, Dra confessed to me that she didn't think Em was going to use her raptor voice.

I cannot stop watching the video.
Can anyone else hear a cat meow in the middle of it?

(Thank you sister Dra for sharing your pics and vid.
Without you helping me survive Ashley meets Walmart,
I probably would have punched crazy right in the neck.)

Drove to the South Jordan Walmart
to stand in line for close to three hours to meet
Ashley Tisdale.
We took Jay, and wow, so many adventures.

• INSANE girl behind us. "I am so hyper!" "Did you hear screaming?" "I am so excited!" jump jump jump. "Do you think I'll get her autograph?" then repeat these phrases in a high pitch 17 year old voice for almost three hours. She bumped into Dra, hard, multiples times. She bumped into me, so I turned around and asked her to back up a little, explained how I didn't understand why she kept bumping into us, thanks. Dra saw her whisper to a boy behind us, then mock me, and point to my back. So I flipped around and told her that I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, but she needed to stop. We had been waiting in line for too long already, and it was dang hot.

• Stupid Walmart blasted Ashley's song: "It's alright, it's okay, I'm so much better without you!" song over and over and over ... the entire time.
  

• Convinced Emily to run down the aisle screaming, "She's here!" even though we knew Ashley wasn't there. Dra has video, but I doubt it caught how incredibly hilarious it was.
• 
  

• Huge security guards, mostly women, literally shoved us through to meet Ashley. They pulled our pictures out of our hands before we were even up there to get a signature. The line was ridiculously long, I bet a lot of people were mad to the max. "Sorry, but five minutes people! Five minutes!" We barely made it. There was a super sassy / rude family behind us that we were all hoping wouldn't make it in those five minutes.

Dra and Em took all of the videos and pictures, I'm sure they'll post about it soon enough. Maybe I will bamboozle them in to letting me snag some to jazz up this post.

Me and Baby Toby

Last night, I was in the middle of a colorful little dream. Me and my family, which wasn't really my family, you know how that goes in dreams, were up Big Cottonwood Canyon. We were listening to directions from our photographer, who was trying to capture a great family shot. The dark-haired photographer (quite possibly a guy from my gym), was bumbling around, then his eyes lit up, and he insisted that we follow him up a rock slide for the "perfect shot."

I refused. I am terrified of rock slides, how dangerous!

I woke up.

I sat up.

I looked at the corner where my stubborn phone was charging.


Right then (2:16 A.M.), I received a text from my brother, Zach:
Baby! 7 lbs. 13 oz. 20 inches long.


Don't you think it's curious that my body woke up right when Toby was born?

Dear Karli,

Not the best quality, but it aids your post.


Dear Emily,

Remember how Big hissed in your face this morning, but you still love him dearly?


Love,
Amy

The Flowers that Keep on Giving.

(They have nearly tucked two weeks into their survival belt.)


On my last day of school, my principal, Jan, came huffing up the stairs with this vase of flowers, singing, "Somebody loves you!" She said those exact same words last year on Valentine's as she marched into the library to deliver Ben's present to me.

Somebody does love me.

Isn't this a gorgeous sunflower?

Dra helped me pull out the flowers that weren't hanging on anymore.
Are these lilies? I love them, and in the moment, I loved the rain in the background.

"Flat hair is so last year."

I love these infomercials so much. 

The Bumpit is hideously hilarious. 

I'm going to buy one for a special someone for a later secret make-her-mad/annoyed-laugh super surprise.

Devil Wasp will not leave me alone today!

All I want to do is peacefully finish my book outside in the long lost sunshine, but no, he insists on buzzing me up and down, and he even had the nerve to try to whisper in my ear.

Later, when I was trying to enjoy my lunch out on the patio, back he comes, wanting a taste of my ham sandwich. Get out of here!

A tad later, I dared to try to read my book outside again, and blam! He's creating a twister around me. From inside the sweet safety of our house, my dad saw me slam my bookmark in my book, flip my hair for protection, swat with my book, and whimper as I ran inside. "See! He won't give me any peace!" as I frantically tried to slam the sliding glass door shut behind me. The door's stuck. So instead of creating a quick barrier between me and Devil Wasp, it took a good ten seconds to guarantee my safety. Turns out ten seconds is a long time. I looked incredibly pathetic.

My dad offered no comfort, "He's probably just trying to find a home." I am not a home for wasps.

Ugh! Just now as I looked outside at the shy blue sky, there he was, trying to buzz his way through the screen. Stupid dedicated jerk.

Ben left this morning.

You can catch a glimpse of him in the flag ceremony.
He's on the far left of the line, next to the guy holding the American flag, holding his gun, sporting an intense mustache.

Eli's face expresses what we all thought when we first
spied the parrot in the cherry tree.

To find out the reasoning behind the parrot,
visit Em's blog post: "This should get the job done."

Here's how our Bocce games play out:

1. Being the insane competitor that I am, every move is completely calculated.


2. Ben gets frustrated by all of my "Bocce luck".

I love Ben's little measuring tape sidekick.
Ben wins the majority of the time, so don't look at his upset face and offer sympathy.

Can't get enough of these Cocoa Crisp crazy nephews.

Ben's home for a bit!

He called my office phone, said he'd be there in five minutes, I started to sweat I was so excited. I told him to call my office phone again, and I'd sprint upstairs ready to go.

He called and said he was too nervous to show up at my school all armied-out, so Jensen dropped him off at the Arby's that's kitty corner to my school.

Today, the students received their end-of-the-year refunds, so there were quite a few hanging around Arby's.

"Who's that?"
"Ben."
"Who's Ben? Is he your son?"

Idiots.