A few weekends ago, I was politely participating in a painful game of super lame questions. It was a terrible attempt at truth or dare without the fun of dares and without the creativeness of awkward truths.

A boy threw out the question, "If you got to choose a singer to sing your life story, who would you choose?" (See, super lame.)

A girl happily called out, "Phil Collins!" to which I immediately burst into hysterical, full-belly laughter.

When I opened my eyes after my hearty laugh, I realized no one else was laughing or even smiling.

I put my head down on my arms, and heard, "Amy, I am offended. I was being serious."

I took a deep breath, kept my head down, and mumbled a sincere apology mixed with a lame explanation of, "If you knew my family ... inside joke ... " and tried to think not-funny thoughts.

"She's still laughing, look, she's shaking," stupid-question boy pointed out.

Wondered what I look like when I laugh.

Here's my reaction to the failblog post about the guy's burger being taken by a tornado and the elementary mascot fail.

Next project: What do I look like when I sneeze? I'll probably keep that to myself.

Salt Lake 1/2 Marathon: More Details

For a great play by play, check out my sissy's blog.

Salt Lake 1/2 Marathon

Loves:

* Riding with Kolten in the morning and listening to his great music.

* Jumping jacks galore when we saw cute Natalie and were trying to get her attention.

* Tears down my face when I saw a blind runner.

* Swallowing really hard when I saw a marathoner on crutches.

* Seeing Candace and Lara along the route, (competitive part of me loves that we passed them).

* Chatting it up with Garth Horton in the rain on the terrible part of State Street.

* Kolten's insistence we take a goo packet each.

* Running with Dra the entire time.

* Perfect running weather.

* High-fiving little kids along the way.

* Seeing friends at the finish line.

* Hugging my sissy at the end.

Arcade Fire Concert!

My absolute, hands down, even if an Elaine-like dancer is in front of me the entire time, favorite band live.

Sorry Black Keys, you're a close second though.

Me and my buddy before we moved to the floor to shake it.

My buddy Patrick and his tiny frosty buddy.

*Thank you Emily for letting me snake your pictures.

Ezra Turned 6 Today!

This is a picture from last year when he turned 5.

I was wandering around WalMart yesterday with Jackie on the phone, trying to figure out what to get the little birthday boy. After hanging up, my eyes settled on the perfect gift for Ezra. (Picture shown above.)

He is the sweetest kid ever. He ran around and gave us each hugs after he opened his presents, and made sure we knew he loved his presents. Andrea said that later at dinner he confessed, "I sure do love all of my presents, but my favorite is my sea monkeys!" I caught him cuddling the package at one point, and he and I talked and talked about everything sea monkeys.

* Don't want to forget: I love that Ezra asked if I would sit next to him during the movie, and then when little Addy wanted to sit next to him too, he sweetly said, "Well, I want to sit next to my Aunt Amy."

Some great quotes from school today:

1) "I won't be teaching today, I have a massive headache and might pass out at any second. Take this worksheet and finish it, but don't ask questions please." (Said to a child as he tried to walk into class. I watched dumbfounded.)

2) "Why don't you cry like other teachers cry?" (I was quizzed as I walked kids back from the gully after I helped them plant peas. I assured them it's because I don't have feelings.)

3) After planting our seeds, I was herding the cats (children), when I stumbled on a wonderful situation. "A worm! Let's put him in the water! No, no, he won't drown Ms. Bateman, he's the new Michael Phelps! Swim Michael, swim! No, don't dig in the rocks, swim!"

4) While observing another teacher, she directed this at a student, "Take your stuff and shit over there in the corner ... sit over there in the corner."

Meet Nic VanDyken. I have been co-teaching with him this year. I adore him, and I like to think I am cooler since I'm buds with such a rad splitboarder.

Today, two of my 9th grade girls came to 5th period late with excusal notes from the office. I'm annoyed.

In the middle of class, they both got a note requesting that they go back to the office. I am even more annoyed. Wondering if they're scheming, I make sure to send them at separate times.

They wander back in together with about five minutes left in class (volcano erupting annoyance) . Perfect, they missed our entire lesson. Good thing I've been posting each lesson on youtube lately.

Right before the bell rings to let class out, I get this message from our hall monitor, Kat:

"We are trying to get a statement from Oakli and Gabbi, and they are not being cooperative. even though we sent them back to class, we have asked them NOT TO COMMUNICATE. Obviously we think that they will. If you see them talking or if they pass a note of any kind, please confiscate it and call me immediately!! Thank you "

I'm burning holes into the back of their heads. The bell rings and I watch Oakli toss a tiny, bright yellow note to Gabbi, but it falls short and lands on the floor. They know I hate notes; they know I hate garbage on the floor. I tell Oakli to grab it and hand it to me. Then I hold Oakli after to keep her away from Gabbi for a bit longer.

Once they're out of my sight, I unravel the note:

I am thinking, "What the crap are they up to! I cannot wait to give this to Kat." Then I flip over to the backside of the note:

I was duped! How did everything work out so perfectly? The girls came back in as I was sending a note to Kat. They laughed and laughed and ran out, "We love you Ms. Bateman!"